Holiday Blues: When Your Feelings Don’t Get the Festive Memo
Ah, the holidays.
That magical time of year when the world smells like chocolate, cinnamon and gingerbread… and everyone pretends fruitcake is edible, and Spotify refuses to let you forget Mariah Carey exists.
But if you’re secretly feeling more “silent cries” than “silent night,” you’re not alone.
Welcome to Holiday Blues—the annual emotional plot twist no one puts on their Christmas cards.
As a psychotherapist, I see it every year: the pressure to be joyful, the avalanche of expectations, the financial strain, the family dynamics that could power a whole Netflix drama series… it’s a lot.
So let’s talk about it—honestly, warmly, and with a sprinkle of festive humour.
🎄 What Exactly Are the Holiday Blues?
Think of the Holiday Blues as your nervous system saying:
“Hi! You’ve been juggling life, work, family, relationships, financial pressure, and existential dread for 11 months, and now you want me to add glitter? Absolutely not.”
They’re not the same as clinical depression, though they can certainly overlap.
Holiday Blues often include:
Low mood
Irritability
Social exhaustion
Anxiety (especially around gatherings or finances)
Fatigue
Feeling disconnected or “out of sync” with the holiday cheer
Grief flare-ups
A strong urge to hide inside a blanket fort until January 2nd
Totally human. Totally normal.
🎁 Why Do the Holiday Blues Happen?
The reasons are about as varied as holiday cookies, but here are the most common ones I see in therapy:
1. Unrealistic expectations
Instagram: “Look at my perfect matching pyjamas and peaceful family photoshoot!”
Reality: “Someone cried, someone yelled, someone lost the dog.”
The gap between “real life” and “holiday fantasy” can feel rather big.
2. Family dynamics
Some families bring joy.
Some bring gingerbread and chaos.
Some… probably need a group therapy session and a referee.
Enough said.
3. Financial strain
Inflation says: “Good luck.”
Your gift list says: “Be generous.”
Your wallet says: “I’m filing for divorce.”
4. Seasonal darkness
Aka: The sun clocks out at 4:30 p.m. and so does your motivation.
5. Grief and nostalgia
Holidays have a way of shining a spotlight on who’s missing or what’s changed.
If you’re grieving, in transition, or rebuilding or even a caregiver carrying it all — it’s okay to feel tender this time of year.
⭐️ How to Manage Holiday Blues Without Becoming a Hermit
1. Lower the bar. No seriously. Lower it again.
Holiday joy doesn’t have to look like a movie.
Sometimes it’s one cozy evening, one moment of laughter, one small tradition that feels grounding.
2. Protect your energy like a precious ornament
You don’t have to go to every event.
You don’t have to talk to every person.
You don’t even have to bake anything — store-bought cookies are valid.
3. Say no with love (and boundaries)
“Thank you for the invitation, but I’ll sit this one out.”
Practice it in the mirror if needed or reach out for more support to do so. Check the free 15 min consult offer.
https://calendly.com/thepresenttherapy/15-minutes-consultation
4. Create tiny holiday rituals that feel yours
Light a candle
Make hot chocolate
Watch your favourite movie
Take a solo walk to look at lights
Buy yourself a little gift
Small moments matter.
5. Tend to your nervous system
Slow breaths.
Stretching.
Five-minute pauses.
A quiet car moment before you walk into a family gathering — yes, that absolutely counts as a coping strategy.
6. Acknowledge your feelings instead of fighting them
You’re not broken for not feeling festive.
Emotions don’t follow the calendar. Trust your gut. Follow it.
7. Reach out for support
Talk to someone — a friend, a partner, or a therapist (hi 👋).
You don’t have to navigate this season alone.
✨ Holiday Blues vs. Depression: When to Check In With a Therapist
If your symptoms:
last more than two weeks
make daily functioning hard
affect sleep or appetite significantly
include hopelessness
or start in December but don’t leave when the decorations do…
…it may be time for a deeper conversation with a doctor or psychotherapist.
I’m here if you need a space to unpack what’s coming up for you this season.
❤️ A Final Note From My Therapist Heart
You don’t need to force joy.
You don’t need to perform happiness.
You don’t need to have the “perfect holiday. You only need to be human — gently, honestly, and in your own way. And if this season feels heavy, I see you. Truly.
Wishing you being gentle, soft and kind to yourself first, and then a holiday that fits you.
Become You. Be You.
